Herb Salad
"Got me reminiscing bout my old days, precint sucking nigga dick no foreplay" ''-Herbsalad 2014'' ' ' Herbsalad is one of the oldest members of Gains, counting his days back to the original instasync, long before white instasync or the current cytube. He lives in Massachussetts with his dad, who is divorced from his mother. Herb's dad is an engineer, his mother has a PhD. Herb has been made mod in Muhgainzzz sometime during this time and has managed to keep this position due to his lack of desire to abuse, or in fact do anything a mod does. Herb is almost certain to have completed high school, however he did not go to college except to take a writing course which he promptly dropped after a few weeks. Ever since that time he has been fully NEET, a lifestyle enabled by his aforementioned dad who provides him with $600 a month in cash, and pays all his expenses for him. Because of these resources and lack of necessity to work, Herb now weighs 240lbs and has not worked for several years, although he has before this time worked as a prep cook. He is 22 years old. In the past Herb has reportedly had sex with one overweight woman, and also molested his cousin and possibly his sister, but this is disputed in Muhgainzzz. At one point he invited his 4/10 neighbour girl over and put her hand on his crotch, proclaiming he can relieve her stress with his cock. He has also attempted to stalk a Wholefoods cashier by coming into the store all the time to figure out what her shift rotation is. The most exciting events in Herb's life on Muhgainzzz were his two unsuccessful suicide attempts. His first attempt consisted of taking an overdose of sleeping pills and trying to drown himself in a bath tub after pouring his heart out to us on what a failure he is. We could not convince him not to do it, (in truth some members were telling him to DO IT.) Unfortunately Herb laid in the bath tub face up and floated. The bathroom flooded and caused about $3,000 worth of damage in the apartments under Herb's dad apartment. Herb slept for about 2 days then immadiately creepshotted his nurse when he woke up in a mental hospital. The one good thing that came out of it was that he got a date with a hot girl from the mental hospital, but nothing came of it. I cannot recall his second attempt at this time. Soon after his first attempt Herb's parents forced him to go to a "work farm" where he was to help out and chop wood and practice horticulture and such things. The aim was to get him away from video games and drugs. Unfortunately Herb quit and went home after 1 day, disappointing his parents and all of Muhgainzzz yet again. Herb's current life is perhaps most simply described as an endless cycle of playing his favorite video game: Dota 2. often followed by playing CSGO. He smokes cigarretes and weed frequently, and is also known to have been abusing research chemicals, taking dangerous doses of noopepts. Whenever he is high he will often tab into Muhgainzzz while playing Dota 2 and begin spamming rap lyrics into the chat. This is not to say Herb has never attempted to change, but most of his attempts were limited to posting RSD videos and approaching a few women out in public. He used to lift and benched close to 200lbs yet this is a thing of the past. In the last year his attempts to climb out of obesity have waned, and he is getting fatter every day.